My Problem with Writing Blogs

NOTE: IF YOU DO NOT GET THE SARCASM IN THIS POST, YOU MIGHT NEED TO SOAK YOUR SENSE OF HUMOR IN A BUCKET OF BLEACH😊

Ah blogging. The ultimate attention seeking means. Most writers honestly have pretty uninteresting lives and use blogging as a way to show off their ‘wonderful minds’ while trying to cover up the fact that they probably have a dead social life. OR they are lousy gossips whose social circle isn’t enough for them so they decide to tattletale to the WHOLE WORLDWIDE WEB. I mean there’s no reason to write for the whole world to see if you have people to gist about stuff with in the first place.

Writers are the loneliest set of people. I said what I said🥴

So these are my top reasons for hating blogs:

  • It Requires Commitment: Some of you (us) can’t even commit to relationships and everyday tasks. For the love of food, don’t add blogging to the list of things that make you a disappointment. I mean look at me. This is my first post in almost three weeks. In order to grow your blog, you need to post regularly. For that to happen, you need content. In order to get content, you need to think and sometimes research. My two least favorite things😭.
  • Unnecessary pressure: You know you have a problem when you keep checking the stats page of your blog. I mean, I supposedly write because it brings me peace, it’s my way of expression and every other excuse writers give to show off that they write better than the everyday language user. However, there is a blog for every fish in the sea, and two for every bird that flies. And that is a whole lotpeer pressure for geeks. Better off writing in a journal innit?
  • It LIED: Blogging is a lucrative way of turning your passion into earnings. It helps you to reach a large audience… WHY DO I HAVE CRICKETS AND COBWEBS ALL OVER MY PAGE THEN? Why isn’t fan mail rolling in?😭 I literally put out the best content out there (I 100% mean to be condescending) so why can’t google algorithm just admit I’m the best and push every other website to the back of the queue?
  • It could make you forget why you love writing: When you’re busy chasing blog shares, views, stats and trying to make money off your site, you might as well be selling yourself short. How do you know? When you can’t answer the question ‘why do you write?’ without feeling like you left your brain at home. It’s really sad, but it happens. Inspiration morphs into monotony and creativity morphs into duty. Then you become another generic human who owns a generic blog on the generic World Wide Web in this generic internet age.

Do as I say, don’t do as I do.

Chapter 1, Verse 1. Book of the Hypocrite.

Yeah I hate blogs, yet I have one. But by all means, take my sound advice. And if you’re one of those humorless beings, I’m handing out offense free of charge. You might as well take it😊🤲🏽. Last last, elemi lo ma last.

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