I took one step forward in understanding my social standing the day I realized that there was not much to my life. As a teenager, I always believed that I was complicated, intelligent, difficult to understand and badass. Really I am quite the opposite, simple, an open book and way too simple for my own good. I’m so simple that I am ashamed of being simple. And I’m even more ashamed of the fact that I am ashamed of the fact that I am simple. And I am even more ashamed of the fact that… you get the drift.
If I had an alter ego, she’d be a double dealing cold hearted evil queen who turned people to ice, no scratch that, stone is way cooler. However, I have a crooked spine and can’t stand straight, both literally and figuratively. I’m made up of 70% water and zero percent hard guy, a dangerous combination for anyone who hopes to survive among the cruel Lagos souls. Nothing surprises me, and everything surprises me all at the same time.
I see too much of the good in people, and too little of the good in myself. I guess somewhere in my head, I have managed to convince myself that I was destined for the life of a loner. They say that everyone is either the hero or the victim in their own story. Makes sense that my name isn’t everyone because sometimes, I am the villain in mine – certified expert at shooting myself in the leg. It’s sheer stupidity to do things that are not in your own interest and I tell other people this. However, I still wear my heart on my sleeve for crows to peck at. And an invisible olodo badge because let’s be honest, I deserve it.
I have a halo of responsibilities around my neck. Parents expect one thing and siblings the other; I have duties towards my friends and academics and towards God and business and self development and love. To top it off, I have responsibilities towards myself to fulfill the responsibilities that I have towards others while still making sure I live a baby girl for life lifestyle on an e go better budget.
So I end up doing so much in so little time, with my e go better budget choking the hell out of my baby girl for life lifestyle while having my heart pecked on by crows because I wear it on my sleeve; with my invisible olodo badge adding extra weight to the fact that nothing and everything surprises me and I can’t possibly hope to survive among the cruel Lagos souls because I’m 70% water and zero percent hard guy. I need breathing space for sanity’s sake.
Which brings us here. The Plainest Jane’s breathing space. Writing has always been a form of solace for me; a way of putting the things that hook my throat into understandable words. I had a secret blog in 2016, and another in 2017 to get things off my chest. I never promoted them because I knew I was putting out subpar content and needed to improve the quality of my writing. However, here and now, I’m doing one of the few things that terrifies me: putting an unmasked version of myself out there for the world to see.
I hope this breathing space becomes yours as much as it is mine, and that you find the content here relatable and helpful inasmuch as it is lighthearted and playful.